I love the part in Shrek(for those that so not know about this ogre fairy tale movie, Shrek is..well an ogre) where Donkey(yes it is capitalized because he is a donkey named Donkey) is trying to get to know Shrek. "Ogres are like onions. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers." While this was followed by a humorous dialogue taken to a whole other level by  Donkey it is a very painful truth. I may not be an ogre,even if it could be reasonably argued before coffee by my girls, I find the layers feel like duct tape super crazy gorilla glued on then baked in a kiln hurt like no other when pulled off. Now I think pulling slow or fast is going to send my voice to a whole new octave that has not been discovered yet. So what about whats under each layer, or what the layer was put up for?

  Each layer being industrial strength on this ogre I am finding can be pulled off slow although I just reseal as fast as I pull. What good is that? Well none except the hold is easier to break than the first, right? Okay, so lets pull fast, that is after all what our parents did. Yowsers!  I would think this would be best, its off and burns but will heal, right? Sure, maybe in time when the deep grooves where skin used to reside. I find that whether pulled off slow or fast we can cover the scars with new layers, make-up, clothes, hair, polish, sticky wound covers(aka band-aids). What about jobs, people, cars, hobbies, even church? They are also scar covers. I am finding that the scars are always under these layers of excuses, lies we convince ourselves have nothing to do with the other. 

  My layers are being peeled off and not just one but all the ones I have held close to my heart. Just like onions the opening of those tough layers cause the tears to flow and pain to follow. I don't know about the rest of the world but if you make me cry I tend to get a little angry. OK, more than a little, I need a minute to chi-lax  right? Nope, no time life continues and I must find a way to cope and ignore the pain than feels like a chainsaw is sitting on it waiting for the right moment to strike.. AGAIN! Which is where we can make a choice to protect what is left of the mangled "onion" or find out why the chainsaw is using its dull but very effective blades to take down my very existence! 

   I'm not sure what I will find out, what I do know is that I find that knowing I have a Savior to hold on to my hand so it is easier to keep perspective on what this journey is all about. 

P.S. If you use rubbing alcohol to wipe the bandage as you pull it loosens it's grip. I can't poor alcohol on my self every time I want to keep the pain to a minimum in life. So I will use God's word and His promises to lessen the sting. I have never had an unconditionally positive anything besides my children and my God. In all my ups and downs, light and dark moments He has been there and I will continue to look for Him. Its peculiar to me that these two have been a constant in my life, doesn't the word say that we are to be child like? When there are layers covering childhood scars its hard to imagine acting that way. We should all look to the child in Christ and not the ones that were scarred.